#which i didn't think it was possible but here we are

[undead-moth]

I'm an English Composition teacher at a university, and I completely prohibit the use of generative AI/LLMs in my class. I'm adamantly opposed to their use, so don't get me wrong when I say that this study is bunk science and should not be taken seriously.

Methodology

The study relies on self-reporting. All of their data is based on surveys done by participants, who were asked to record when they perceived themselves to be critically thinking. Even setting aside that any of the participants could have lied, how objectively can they assess themselves? Worse yet, what does their perception prove? It's not only unreliable, it also doesn't prove anything.

2. Meaningless units of measurement

"Critical thinking" is not, and can't be, a factually defined concept. Whether or not someone is critically thinking, or capable of critically thinking, is essentially a matter of generally agreed-upon opinion.

As you can see here, they are still using the word "perceived" because there is no other option. It is impossible to quantify someone's critical thinking.

Quality is also a matter of perception.

They even admit in their limitations section that this caused problems while surveying participants and may have contaminated their data. Some of their participants didn't understand that just because they were able to do something easily, or quickly, does not mean they were able to do so because they were critically thinking with ease, which goes back to my first point. I doubt this is the only example of participant misunderstandings. This is, frankly, beyond a limitation. Even if everything else about this study was airtight, this would make their results meaningless anyway. If your participants have a different understanding of what critical thinking is, or what it means to critically think than you do, and they are providing your data, you can't meaningfully conclude anything from the data.

3. Recruitment

The way they selected participants was by recruiting people who regularly use generative AI/LLMs. Not only does this mean that there's no control, but we also don't know anything else about these participants that may be affecting their preexisting critical thinking skills. This contributes to there being no legitimate way of speculating if generative AI/LLMs is influencing how much or how little they're using critical thinking when they use generative AI/LLMs and when they're not.

4. This study proves nothing, but more importantly, this study wasn't even on what they are claiming it was on.

The highlighted portion here is quoted by the 404 Media article above, and it is taken out of context. In the introduction, they explain that an "overreliance" on any form of automation has historically been theorized to have the potential to lead to "atrophy."

First of all, even if this is true, this study didn't follow these participants over time, nor were they required to use generative AI/LLMs exclusively for every daily situation that might require critical thinking, which would be the only way to ensure "overreliance" and the only way to determine if "overreliance" led to "atrophy."

They are hypothesizing that using generative AI/LLMs could potentially "atrophy" critical thinking skills in the event someone "overrelies" on it.

They even compare "overreliance" on generative AI/LLMs to writing, printing, calculators, and the internet - none of which have been proven to "atrophy" critical thinking skills and given that the alternative to generative AI/LLMs is literally writing, which they implicitly argue doesn't atrophy critical thinking skills, I think it's fair to say their hypothesizing here isn't objective.

Plus:

"Overreliance" has the same issue "critical thinking" has. It's a matter of generally agreed-upon opinion. How do you measure overreliance? What constitutes overreliance? Based on the definition above, isn't it possible for people to accept incorrect recommendations or make errors of commission while not "overrelying"? If so - and it is so - how can you ever know if "overreliance" is truly at fault, or even at play?

This also doesn't account for the fact that many other daily situations require critical thinking skills, and many other daily situations don't require critical thinking skills. Even if someone became "overreliant" on generative AI/LLMs, that would not mean they aren't critically thinking regularly in other daily situations, including daily situations that require the exact same critical thinking skills generative AI/LLMs are hypothetically enabling people not to use. If someone uses generative AI/LLMs regularly, does that stop them from reading in their free time? No, obviously not. So...couldn't that mean that even if someone "overrelied" on generative AI/LLMs, that they could still prevent "atrophy" elsewhere in their life? There's also the issue that even if generative AI/LLMs enables users not to critically think, that really doesn't in any way prove that will lead to "atrophy." I would argue that folding laundry doesn't require critical thought, and most people fold laundry regularly - yet it has never led to "atrophy." Doing something that doesn't require critical thinking regularly doesn't by default lead to an inability to critically think, especially if someone is critically thinking in other areas of life - which, most people, whether it seems like it or not, are, and every day.

And this is important to stress entirely because they are arguing that only by becoming "overreliant" on generative AI/LLMs could critical thinking skills "atrophy." They are not, even hypothetically, arguing that just using generative AI/LLMs itself "atrophies" critical thinking skills, which makes Emanuel Maiberg's (author of this 404 Media article) choice in title outright negligent misinformation.

There is no current evidence that using generative AI/LLMs "atrophies" critical thinking. There is some - unprovable - evidence - based on self-reported surveys - that generative AI/LLMs might - because confounding variables are not accounted for - enable someone to do work that typically requires critical thinking without having to critically think - no different than a calculator.

I am not even remotely of the opinion that generative AI/LLM use is comparable to the calculator, but that does not change the fact that all this study proved is that generative AI/LLMs might not, in all instances, require users to critically think, and that does not prove anything.

Here they pretty much admit that it is entirely hypothetical that using generative AI/LLMs could lead to "atrophy." They argue that anyone who doesn't exercise their critical thinking skills regularly can lose them. (This, by the way, we already knew.) They reason that it's possible someone who "overrelies" on using generative AI/LLMs might not be exercising their critical thinking skills regularly, and therefore it could enable the "atrophying" of their critical thinking skills.

This reasoning relies on ignoring confounding variables, which makes it unsound.

Additionally, even if what they are hypothesizing could possibly happen, it would not mean there is anything innately about generative AI/LLMs that causes critical thinking "atrophy." It would only mean that someone who never exercises their critical thinking skills loses them, which we already knew, and was true long before generative AI/LLMs could arguably help enable - not cause - enable people to lose critical thinking skills.

I'll end this firstly by saying that those of us, myself included, who have an ethical objection, and a practical objection to generative AI/LLMs, (I personally still believe that generative AI/LLMs make it so that someone who hasn't yet developed certain critical thinking skills can avoid ever having to develop them, which is I suppose arguably an adjacent line of thinking to this study) firstly need to keep an eye out for their own confirmation bias - I know how tantalizing the title of that 404 Media article is. I know when we see a title like that, we feel very vindicated in our stance - but we have to be vigilant. We have rational and justified objections to generative AI/LLMs that I believe will in time be scientifically and/or factually reported - but this study isn't one, and many won't be. We can't fall prey to misinformation or anti-scientific thought just because it says what we want to hear.

Secondly, I would encourage everyone whose first thought when they read that title was vindication to consider that the people who conducted this study, consciously or unconsciously, may have an ulterior motive for arguing that generative AI/LLMs cause critical thinking "atrophy." Science is never conducted, nor accepted, in a social vacuum, and I would honestly bet that virtually all studies aiming to prove, or worse, claiming to prove - as this one does - that critical thinking "atrophy" exists, are trying to create a scientifically-supported case for "degeneracy," meant to justify eugenics. This is also something we need to be vigilant about.

One of the common mistakes I see for people relying on "AI" (LLMs and image generators) is that they think the AI they're interacting with is capable of thought and reason. It's not. This is why using AI to write essays or answer questions is a really bad idea because it's not doing so in any meaningful or thoughtful way. All it's doing is producing the statistically most likely expected output to the input.

This is why you can ask ChatGPT "is mayonnaise a palindrome?" and it will respond "No it's not." but then you ask "Are you sure? I think it is" and it will respond "Actually it is! Mayonnaise is spelled the same backward as it is forward"

All it's doing is trying to sound like it's providing a correct answer. It doesn't actually know what a palindrome is even if it has a function capable of checking for palindromes (it doesn't). It's not "Artificial Intelligence" by any meaning of the term, it's just called AI because that's a discipline of programming. It doesn't inherently mean it has intelligence.

So if you use an AI and expect it to make something that's been made with careful thought or consideration, you're gonna get fucked over. It's not even a quality issue. It just can't consistently produce things of value because there's no understanding there. It doesn't "know" because it can't "know".

[abbysimsfun]

Sims In Bloom: Generation 2 Pt. 150 (Inventing - or Reinventing? - Time Travel)

To research the possibilities of time travel, Felix Psyded, Esquire, and his girlfriend, Lilith Pleasant, had spent months at Laurel Library in Britechester. Emit's knowledge had proven helpful, but his device was too advanced for modern times and required materials yet to be discovered. They had a lot to learn, and often studied late into the evening.

These two - an attorney and a podcaster - knew next to nothing about programming or biometric sciences. But Lilith, especially, was determined to make a device to chase Emit's time thief, and Felix would stay by her side in any decade.

"I checked out a copy of A History of Time Travel like Ash suggested," she said eagerly. Felix quickly flipped her laptop to The Sims Archives, Volume 2, disguising the webpage he'd really been reading. "Are you enjoying the game? I didn't realize how much I missed playing it!"

He nodded absentmindedly, and Lilith noticed. She was about to raise the question when her twin sister, Angela, emerged from behind the bookshelves with a programming guide. "Geez, this stuff is difficult," she complained. "How are you planning to learn all this to make a time travel device?"

"Ash was taken with a faulty remote," explained Lilith. "He said we need to program it correctly or we might end up lost in time, but he's been a huge help on some things we just can't wrap our heads around."

"It's pretty crazy to let a nine-year-old help you build a device to jump through time. And how did he invent it already, because Emit's here, but not invent it yet at the same time?"

Lilith scowled at her twin. They'd been polar opposites since high school, and Lilith always felt a sense of moral superiority oozing from her earthy pastel pores. "Why are you even here, Angela? We didn't ask you for help."

"Excuse me for being interested!"

A librarian shushed them from somewhere beyond the tall rows of mahogany bookshelves, and Lilith leaned in to whisper. "You're not interested in the device, you're interested in Emit."

Angela caught herself before she let out a yowl, aghast at the suggestion. "A blue-haired time traveler? Please! Do I look desperate?"

Felix poked his head in gently, having built up a good relationship with Lilith's family. "No, but you look infatuated every time he's on TV. I don't blame you, really. He's polite, and he could well be handsome behind those sunglasses. He's mysterious; it's alluring!"

"Lil, if you're not careful, you're going to lose your boyfriend to Emit Relevart."

Lilith rolled her eyes and changed the subject as Angela huffed. "Ash thinks we need to look for something called a shard of time, which he first read about in Theoretical Electronics. He reads so fast, it's amazing! He says the shards are hard to spot, but if you look at something long enough, relax your mind, you'll see slight discoloration in an object. Once you see it, you can pick it up with your fingers. Ash said he found one on the toilet in his bathroom at home."

(This is Ash pondering time travel on the toilet for the quest points. I know it doesn't look like it but some of the event reward animations are sus or my game is broken. The actual books - Theoretical Electronics and A History of Time Travel - never appeared in Lilith's hands. That's why she's reading a violin skill book, which she picked herself when she was done reading the invisible books.)

"So you're going to go stare at toilets for a while?"

"Refrigerators, too," said Felix.

"This is so weird, you guys. Are you really serious about this?"

"After Felix is done work tomorrow, we're going back to Willow Creek to talk to Emit some more." Angela tried to stuff her hopeful expression and Lilith let out an exaggerated sigh. "Did you want to come with us?"

"Well...if you think I'd be helpful I'd be happy to-"

"Ange..." Lilith pursed her lips. She loved her sister, but she was always like this. "I said you could come and meet Emit. Don't act like it's a favour to me."

They made it to Willow Creek Park the next evening, where they found Emit still wandering the paths. He smiled and waved when he spotted the girls waiting for Felix near the public restroom. "Lilith Pleasant! I hoped you'd be back. Most of the gawkers have been unserious, and they don't come around as much now that the news cycle's moved on a little."

"We wouldn't know where to begin, but we've been getting help from someone...Does the name Ash Landgraab mean anything to you?"

After everything they'd learned about Ash's visit from the ghost of Marco, Lilith posed her question carefully. When Emit frowned, shaking his head, her shoulders dropped in relief. "Everyone's heard of the Landgraabs, but Ash Landgraab doesn't really ring a bell. Why?"

The sisters looked at each other. "When you're from, who invented time travel?"

Emit laughed as Felix joined them. "That's one of life's great mysteries! It's thought whoever invented it wanted - or needed - to be protected, so their identity was kept secret. When I was at the academy, there were rumours the inventor was a kid and that's why their name was never recorded, but some say people did know, and the inventor was well known once upon a time, but the truth was lost to history."

Felix chuckled. "Perhaps the truth was hidden by another time thief."

Lilith and Angela laughed with him, but Emit's face held a stern expression. "Time thieves aren't that funny. They could erase history as we know it if they try hard enough. Some days, my wristboard pings so often, each time they move to a new time, I can't possibly chase them alone. We're lucky the one we're dealing with is just dropping household furnishings all over the place. So far." He dropped his voice in an ominous tone. "But even that could break the strings holding time in place."

"Wow, you know so much!" Angela gushed at the blue-haired man, and he looked back to Lilith with a curious expression.

"Is this your clone?"

Lilith laughed, but Angela laughed louder. "This is my twin sister, Angela."

"It's nice to meet you, Angela."

They shared a sweet smile, and Lilith glanced knowingly at Felix. "We also wanted to ask you about shards of time," she said. "Where are the best places to look for them?"

Emit looked back to Lilith as though he'd forgotten she was there. "Shards? Oh shards! Sorry, our tech hasn't had to use shards for a long time. Shiny surfaces are best, but I suppose they could be anywhere, really, if you look long enough."

"That's what Ash said."

"This Ash sounds fascinating. I'd like to meet him, or his guardians, since you mentioned last time he's a child, didn't you? You're...you're not saying he's the one who invented time travel..."

"He hasn't yet," said Angela. "He's almost ten, but these two would probably be hopeless without him. He's the one who discovered the shards."

"A child Landgraab invents time travel? That is a headline!"

"His parents - at least his mother and his stepfather - don't want people hounding him the rest of his life."

"I don't blame them. It's important to protect children - even brilliant ones."

"Should you meet him some day, I think you'd be quite impressed by him," said Felix. "He's nothing like the rest of the Landgraabs."

Emit laughed. "What do you mean? The Landgraabs are incredible. They spent six billion simoleons to end global hunger and built the ship that stopped the asteroid. A Landgraab is president of Simlandia right now. Well, right where I came from."

Felix shared looks of surprise with Lilith and Angela. "Maybe Marco's stunt changed more than we thought," he mused.

Felix and Lilith paid attention to each other while Angela made small talk with Emit. But Emit seemed uninterested in her flirty advances, which he returned with friendly nods and turned glances.

Before they left him in the early hours of the morning, Felix gave him a burner phone so they could reach out if they had more questions. Emit took the untraceable phone willingly, glancing quickly at Angela before sending them home with polite goodbyes.

When they got back to the old three-story home they shared with Angela and her parents in Gibbs Hill, Lilith quickly went to bed. But Felix was mulling something over in his mind.

He tried reading, but his mind moved too fast to take in the paragraphs. When dawn finally broke and he left for work the next morning, he called his favourite grumpy police captain on the way.

"Hey. I know it's early, but I was wondering if you had a few minutes. I've got a problem I need to talk about..." ->

<- Previous Chapter | Gen 2 Start | Gen 2.1 Summary

Gen 1 Start | Gen 1 Summary

Last shot is of Felix is his work attire and not on the phone with Conrad because I liked it. He is not without swagger!

NOTE: If you've played through the event, you know the story is diverging a bit from the strict tasks since Emit isn't the sole source of information for Lilix here. Also, Angela had that instant attraction to Emit and I want to see if I can see that through. Even though Emit is being very professional-adjacent about it, he accepted some of her flirts, but not all, so I gave it a rest before he got mad. But once again, I'm making something much bigger than it is for the sake of plot.

[slayerdurge]

Regarding The Busts in Gortash's Office

So because I'm endlessly obsessive, I did what I said I would do & wrote down the names and descriptions of all of the people that Gortash has busts of in his office because they seem to be people he admires so I wanted to analyze them, as one does when one is endlessly obsessive. I also did additional research on the ones that I could find more information about. Here they are, and some of my own thoughts on why they might have been included (under a read more because it's long because, again, obsessive).

Baron Alec Bormul - First of the Bormul patriar family to start his own venture, Alec is the unscrupulous bastard who made their fortune in mines and vineyards.

Now, as far as I can find, this is the only information we have about this character. However, there are several other Bormul family members that exist in the game (including an NPC called Callem Bormul who is present at Gortash's ordaining ceremony). The one that stands out more to me though is Ilza Bormul, who is mentioned in the in-game book "Baldur's Gate and the Dialectics of Plunder" and stated to own "slave-labour mines in the mountains of Amn". Presumably therefore Alec is an "unscrupulous bastard" due to the use of slave labor. Not particularly surprising Gortash would approve of that since he is a known slaver himself. Interestingly, that same book also mentions Xeremiah Eltan, who is another of the busts in the office, as another example of the fact that Baldur's Gates patriar families are all founded by blood and immorality (which the author of the book says no one ever talks about). So I imagine both busts are also included as confirmation of his worldview that no one innocent ever gets far in life. I think it's also notable here that Gortash chose to commemorate the "first" of the family who "started his own venture". We know he loves a self-made man, no matter how brutal his path was. Commodore Morgan Redlocks - Baldur's Gate ship captain Morgan Redlocks wed a man thrice her age. After the wedding, the groom suffered a heart attack. Redlocks converted his merchant ships into a pirate fleet.

Unfortunately not a character that I can find any more information about, but how much do you want to bet that she killed her husband? I mean, come on. He has a heart attack so soon after the wedding that he's still being referred to as the "groom" and not the husband? Plus it wouldn't even remotely surprise me that Gortash would appreciate a subtle femme fatale assassin. Also, of fucking course he would admire a pirate. Magnate Carric Ilphescient - Carric started from nothing, built a financial empire, and founded the Counting House. He refused to mingle with the other patriars, saying, "They didn't want me when I was an urchin, and now they can't have me."

Another self-made man, and one who does not mince words about it. Easy to imagine that that quote reflected Gortash's own mentality. Only other reference I could find to him was in an in-game book in the Counting House called "Record of the Honoured" but all it tells us is that he did in fact found the Counting House. The Cockeyed Stranger - This is a bust of the god Bane as he first appeared to Gortash in dreams, and was then described to a Rivington sculptor.

Bane is obviously a far more established D&D character than anyone else here, so I could write a whole page just about Bane and how I imagine Gortash sees him. I swear I've seen a bit of loading screen flavor text in BG3 that states that when Bane was a mortal man, he was originally a battleslave of Mephistopheles, but it is possible that I'm wrong about that because I cannot find confirmation of this lore anywhere on the internet. (If anyone else has seen that loading screen flavor text, please confirm so I know I'm not hallucinating!) But if it is true, then it's immensely clear what Gortash sees in him. Gortash's whole thing is he absolutely loves the idea of someone who started from the bottom and rose to the top through sheer ruthlessness. He likes the idea of overthrowing his oppressors and taking their place. As a whole, Bane's doctrine also fits Gortash really well. The Forgotten Realms Wiki says that Bane "embodied the principles of ambition and control and believed that the strong had not only the right, but the duty, to rule over the weak." I can easily imagine Gortash having the same mentality. Bane is also known for being a lot more open to having alliances than is typical for an evil god, but he always makes sure he ends up on top. (I could write a whole other analysis about how the original plan hatched by Gortash, Durge, & Ketheric leaves Gortash in the best position. Ketheric gets to be a fearsome conquering general, Durge (later Orin) gets to spread chaos in the streets, but Gortash is the one who ends up being the hero who can actually not only have the benefit of his legitimate ruthlessness but also the benefit of it remaining hidden! By far the best position in the alliance. Orin actually is mad about this (she gives a little speech to Durge about how Gortash betrayed them because all her murders only drive the people of Baldur's Gate into the arms of his Steel Watch) but it is implied that Durge didn't think of it the same way since those were always the terms of the plan... something that always makes me wonder about what exactly it is that Durge & Gortash originally had planned in the long-term. Were they really just both always planning to betray the other eventually? Because I'm honestly not so sure about that. I think they're both too smart for that. But I digress.) Dame Amafrey Ephemial - Dame Amafrey, the Orphans' Friend, founded several orphanages in the Outer City, as the Lower City was no place for children (and the Upper City declined to sponsor an orphanage).

Okay, this is by far the black sheep in the set. A philanthropist? Seemingly without an ulterior motive? Why is she included here? I mean, on the one hand, I could almost believe that Gortash is sympathetic to the plights of children in a way he wouldn't be for adults (since he suffered so much as a child & since children don't have as many ways to help themselves and take responsibility as adults do), but on the other hand, it is so deeply inconsistent with his character too. But then again, maybe he's just a hypocrite. Maybe this really is some sort of secret soft side. Or perhaps it has more to do with the fact that she seemed to be bogged down by the corruption around her (the Upper City declined to sponsor an orphanage) so maybe he keeps her bust around as a reminder that good intentions don't get you far enough. I genuinely don't know with this one, and I was unable to find any more info about Dame Ephemial. Grand Duke Eltan - Founder of the Flaming Fist. Later history is kinder to him than accounts from his time, which portray him as a cruel and hard-handed mercenary commander.

According to the same in-game book mentioned previously (Baldur's Gate and the Dialectics of Plunder), he "founded the Flaming Fist as a ruthless mercenary company that slaughtered and burned for pay along the entire length of the Sword Coast". He is also a character in the first Baldur's Gate game and the expansion Baldur's Gate: Siege of Dragonspear. According to the Forgotten Realms Wiki, he was Lawful Neutral and he was known as "steadfast and principled" because of his "tactical genius" and "a sincere belief in maintaining the balance of power among the many small kingdoms of Faerûn". Also apparently he survived a whole lot of assassination attempts. Easy to see why Gortash would see this one as a role model, I think. He is described as a "tactical genius" himself. I also think it's interesting that it says that "later history is kinder to him than accounts from his time". I mean, we know Gortash is huge on propaganda and controlling the narrative. I would imagine he cares how he might be remembered.

[laurentidal]

Out of Frame

"Who the fuck is that?" Amelia spat.

Her boyfriend froze mid-swipe as she began to shout.

"No. No. Go back. Let's see. Yeah, yeah. One more to the left. That one."

His finger came to rest on the photo in his camera roll he'd been swiping past. The photo showed what was obviously him on the pier. His arm was outstretched, taking what was meant to have been a selfie with someone else, but the other person had just stepped out of frame. All you could see was his laughing face and his other hand, clasped tight around a woman's hand. Her nails were done. Pretty red.

She looked up into his face, which was full of confusion.

"Babe, that's you."

She hesitated for a moment. "What? No it's not. We haven't been to the pier in months. This photo is from three days ago."

"Yeah," he said, his voice shaking slightly and his eyes full of perplexed worry. "You don't remember when we went to the pier three days ago?"

"No! Because we didn't!"

He tried to take her hands in his, but she pulled them away. "Babe," he started again.

"No. Don't try to gaslight me. I'm not some crazed woman who can't remember what we did over the weekend!"

"Okay then," he said, staring her down, "I won't. I'll let you tell me. What did we do this weekend?"

"Friday we went to the movies. Sunday we were at that market downtown."

"And Saturday?" he asked, bringing up the timestamp. "When this photo was taken, where were you? Where was I?"

She screwed up her face slightly, suddenly aware of a hole in her memory. He sighed a long, sad sigh.

"Amy, you know I've been hypnotizing you?"

"Yes," she spat, her anger still boiling despite her growing confusion.

"I did it that morning but we got interrupted. I thought you'd come out of it. You were behaving normally, but maybe you weren't totally back when we went out."

Amy sat there, stunned. That was��� possible.

"Here," he said, reaching for the sides of her head. He placed his hands on her temples and looked into her eyes. "Amelia, drift."

Like a switch, her mind was like sand in a sieve. Her eyes went glassy. Her breathing slowed. She'd been topless already since they'd just been fooling around, and Connor noticed, as he always did, how fucking hot she looked when she sank this deep.

"Think back now, Amelia. You remember Saturday morning. You remember staring at the candle flame and sinking so deep for me."

"I remember."

"That's good. Do you remember the knock on the door from the landlord, and how I needed to leave you on the couch for a moment?"

She didn't notice that had been a statement rather than a question. She simply did as she always did when he spoke to her in trance: as she was told.

"I remember."

"And you remember when I came back and without remembering to wake you, we went out to the pier and had a lovely day."

Another statement. A fact. A truth.

"I remember."

"Good. Amelia, anchor."

She blinked and looked at him aghast. "Oh my God, Connor I'm so sorry! I can't believe I forgot!" Then she punched him hard in the chest. "You need to be more careful with me!!!"

She kissed him on the cheek and apologized again. And apologized for hitting him. Then she took his hand in hers. His fingered intertwined with hers, her nails colorless. And as she stood to go get dressed, he breathed a sigh of relief.

She'd spend all of Saturday here in the apartment, staring at the candle he used to hypnotize her. She'd sat right there on that couch with her fingers on her clit, his name on her lips, and her eyes on the flame. He'd spent Saturday with Bev at the pier, making sure she focused very closely on the blinking lights of the rides.

He dialed his phone as he heard the shower turn on.

"Beverly, drift."

Thanks for reading! If you are a fan of my work, consider buying me a coffee. Any contribution is insanely appreciated. 💖

[smallestapplin]

It won’t come off

Warnings : first contact au, major character death (reader dies), Bee and reader are close despite the language barrier, could be read as platonic or romantic. Italicized dialogue means only one understand.

This was commissioned by : @bellafragolina

Word count : 1,596

-

-

You were just so small compared to him, to see someone so tiny and squishy he couldn’t believe his optics! You looked up at the towering mech in a mix of awe and fear, you didn't even come up to his knees, he's so massive to you. You speak yet he can’t understand you, he can see your intake moving but it's a bunch of cute mutters and squeaks to his audials, but that’s okay!

“Don’t worry little buddy I got you. Oh primus, this is great! I get to show you around, I’m sure A-a-tron and Steve will love ya!”

He’s gentle with you despite his excitement, picking you up with care and even taking you small little space craft with him. You don’t understand anything he says, it sounds like whirls beeps and clanking to you, but that should be fine, right? It’s clear he’s a sentient robot of sorts, you wish you could communicate and ask.

But with how damaged your space craft is, you don’t think that would be possible.

You two swiftly fall into a routine, he works and you scavenge around for any metals you can use to repair your ship, though you’re glad you still had food and supplies on board. You don’t get a lot of time to do so, however, this mech loves talking to you even if you can’t understand him, you can hear his tone.

It’s cute how he lights up when you answer, it gets him rambling that much more. Being down here with no light, unable to tell how long you’ve been here, makes it hard to keep track of how long you’ve been missing, surely communications back home would try to find you, right? Looking back at the yellow bot you smile, maybe being stuck here isn’t so bad, though you’re not sure how much food and water you have left or how long it’ll last you.

Though over the course of your stay you’ve picked up on a few words, one of which at least part of his name, the look of joy that crosses his face and the whirling metal sound which you could only think was a squeal, lets you know he’s overjoyed to hear you call him ‘Bee.’ Though he has a much harder time with your language, you can hear him call you ‘little buddy’ all the time, it’s adorable in your eyes, it worries you a little how long he must’ve been here alone.

You heard it first, the sound of something falling? Maybe it’s because everything on this planet is so much louder, but you hid in the hole in Bee’s chest plate not wanting to take chances. You hear Bee coo at you, placing a hand over where you hid, thinking you’re just so cute. Only moments later do you hear talking, and Bee excitedly rambling as your name pops up a few times.

You wish you could understand them better.

“Little buddy? Orion, please, he’s insane.”

“Dee, be nice, he can help us find a way out!”

“Oh yeah, sorry little buddy is just shy! I mean I don't blame them for how small they are, but they are so cute! Best company ever. Now that you two are here we can have massive sleepovers, dude it’ll be great-“

Even from Bee’s chest you can hear the annoyance of one of them. Being able to hear things but not see them is horrifying as you can recognize the panic in their voices, the sadness, the anger, feel when Bee is running and freaking out. Just what is happening out there? You almost didn’t want to leave the safety of Bee’s chest plate, it was safer here, and he’d protect you!

B127 cringes, looking like a guilt turbofox as Alpha Trion and now the others stare at him, yeah having a cog would be so cool! But where would his little buddy stay? you’re too close to where his cog would go, too close to-

“H-hey, you can’t just-“

“An organic?” From the open chest plate Alpha Trion holds you up, such a small little thing, fleshy and squishy.

You shake under the new bots' glazes, all of them staring you down, some in awe, some in curiosity, some in bewilderment, but the large purple one is not easy to read like they are, or even like Bee is. The yellow bot reaches for you as you shakily call his name, your voice as small as you are, and quaking in fear at this newcomer.

“They are my friend, you can’t just take them!” Even as nervous as he is, he refuses to let you get taken from him, he can protect you just fine.

Alpha Trion glances between you and the newly fogged yellow bot, before carefully handing you back to him. You cling to Bee’s zero, just as he clings to you, holding you close to his helm and trying to mutter soothing things to you.

“I see you are fond of them, but let it be known this entire world can hurt them or worse, they are too soft to handle this place on their own. And with your next journey ahead, I fear what may happen to them.”

Though the older cybertronian warns him, Bee holds you closer.

“I can protect them! I have up to this point, even before all this, they are my little friend, we spent so much time in the mines together, they even learned how to say a nickname for me!”

Their usual silly cybertronian was determined, optics narrowed filled with promise that nothing could get between him and you. Though Alpha Trion was not convinced, merely giving a solemn nod before the first blaster set off. Back into Bee’s spark chamber you went, and they went running once more, trying to figure out their new T-cogs. You groan at the whiplash from going to sit in Bee’s spark chamber, to a driver’s seat, back to the spark chamber, and constantly flipping between a soft blue and the chaos happening outside.

When everything finally goes still you wish it made you calm down, but it only made you worry more, Bee was never quiet, there was always sound around you, his humming, his chatter, the sound of his work around you, nothing was ever still like this. Yet you stay put, Bee is the only one you trust, he’d keep you guarded.

When the sound returns you breathe a sigh of relief, even if it sounded angry, at least Bee was talking.. all this adventuring has made you tired and hungry, you can’t wait to go back to the mines and back to your ship. You nuzzle against the blue pulsing thing in his chest plate with you, briefly noting how Bee’s voice shakes as you do so.

He speaks to you, yet you can only understand him saying ‘not’, maybe if you wait a little more you two can get things settled. Bee tried but taking on so many bots at once in such chaos, and trying to help Orion and Elita out was overwhelming, but he’d do it, he can’t let anyone down when they’ve done so much for him.

It was a slip up, he didn’t get the blast coming but it didn’t go too deep in his plating, he can still fight!…what is all this red stuff leaking from his chest plate? It’s no oil he’s ever seen before. His spark sank, swiftly taking cover from all the fire to rip his spark chamber open and pull you out.

You’re weak.

It hurts to move.

Your pained whimper makes his eyes leak, you can hear him frantically muttering to you, comming someone like Orin for help, but you can’t take it, he sounds so upset.

You place a hand to his face plate, softly speaking to him trying to settle his nerves, but it's just making him cry that much harder. You’re certain he’s apologizing, for what you aren’t sure, but you’re just happy to have met him and seen life beyond your stars.

“It’s okay…I’m here. Bee, please don’t…don’t feel bad.” You know he can’t understand your words, your languages apart, but the love for him united you both.

Your eyes feel heavy, but he needs you, you know he does, he’s your friend, you can’t leave him. Orion appears in view, saying something to Bee but the yellow bot lets out a wail, not wanting to let you go, you’re hurt, you need him!

You’re human.

You’re soft, just like Alpha Trion said.

This world was against you, such small thinsg to them would be the end of you.

If only Bee had taken it to spark to realize just how fragile his squishy friend was, he was sure you’d never get hurt.

Some friend, he is, right, little buddy?

Yet your body is limp, you aren’t answering his ever growing yells of your little name, you can’t leave him, you can’t…

Orion places a servo on Bee’s shoulder, letting his friend grieve such a heavy loss. You would want him to live, to fight on, protect anyone from your fate. But the larger bot stays quiet, keeping his thoughts to himself as Bee refuses to let your limp body go.

And he’d have to until you can have a proper going away after they stop this madness.

But he can’t let you go, even placing your body in his spark chamber again and weeps. You’re limp, you’re losing your warmth.

And this red stuff won’t come off.

[dollcher]

DRESS UP﹙ ♡ ﹚─── 𝓟ortgas 𝓓. 𝓐ce

𝓢UMMARY ｡ when going shopping with ace, you share a few little, cute moments.

ワンピース & fluff ୨୧ afab!reader. mutual pining. ace is just so head over heels for you.

❛ notes ❜ . . this is a re-write of an ace one-shot i wrote on my (deleted) previous account and i just had to write it again bcos i think the idea is so cute, he makes me feel so giddy > _ < !

you strolled around the new town your crew — the whitebeard pirates — had docked at the night before, ace trailing next to you. the two of you had been tasked with purchasing the necessary supplies and goods for your next voyage on sea, all from the spices to the kitchen to the gunpowder for the cannons. this town was a quaint one, the people seemingly somber and friendly. it wasn't teeming with marines which was a grand relief for the crew. it allowed you to roam the streets without an impending sense of fear of being caught or chased looming over your shoulders.

because of this sense of security, you were taking your time, marvelling at the beauty of the town. nature was enclaved all around, flowers and vines cascading down every building and growing on every corner. they seemed to be very proud of their flora and verdure as there were products related to it in each shop you passed by. they sold beautifully arranged bouquets, perfumes that smelt of lavenders and roses, tea that tasted of florals.

while they were all fine products, the shop that caught your attention was of one that sold apparel. the mannequins displayed by the window donned these elegant dresses — one of them was yellow and frilly, layered with tulle on underneath while the other was a baby blue mermaid shaped dress, embellished with flowers and some sequin all over. as you continued to leer inside, you noticed that the garments inside were just as pretty. you were eager to go inside but you thought it would be a waste to spend your berry on something so superfluous. and you did worry that the men on your crew would ridicule you for purchasing such an item. no matter how much you wanted it, you did your best to restrain yourself.

however, ace had already caught you staring at the shop. he could tell you were itching to go inside by the way your eyes lingered on every garment and the way they sparkled with glee. he could sense you were contemplating about whether or not to go in, possibly worried that the crew members would tease you for 'wasting the money on dresses' — when he knew that that was simply just you overthinking and that none of the men would ever do such a thing. even if they did, they would have to face whitebeard himself and that was no one's wish.

"hey, why don't we go check it out?", ace said, smiling at you warmly.

"oh no! it's fine. i don't—", you started but were immediately cut off by him.

ace shook his head and tutted in feign exasperation. "c'mon! we've finished all the shopping," — he held the numerous bags up and shook them as if to drive his point further — "and we still have some time before we need to head back. i know you wanna go in so c'mon!"

before you could even protest, he was pushing you inside. you kept trying to resist him, insisting that you didn't want to be here. but the more you looked around the store and looked at the wardrobe hung on the racks, it was becoming harder for you to leave. after a few more pitiful attempts at resisting him, you caved in and said in a hushed tone, "well... it wouldn't hurt to look i suppose."

an hour had passed and you were in the changing rooms, trying on your nth dress of the night. while they were all gorgeous, you wanted to buy the one that truly stood out to you. plus, you nor ace had enough for more than one — which in truth was your only reason for limiting yourself.

"gosh," you sighed, as you took off one of the pieces ace had picked out for you. "i just can't seem to choose. i'm so sorry for taking so long."

truthfully, ace wasn't complaining. even though he was just standing outside waiting for you, this served as an opportunity to spend time with you and that was one he would never pass up. what made it worth the wait was him imagining you in the dresses you selected. the thought made his cheeks twinge with a rosy pink, accentuating the freckles that littered his face. but every time those visions arose, he shook his head furiously as if that would physically throw them out of his mind.

there was another reason he didn't mind and it was the women that passed him, whispering to themselves and gawking at him. at first, he was rather confused as to what they were murmuring about – he thought that maybe they felt weary of him being the only man in the store and he was considering leaving as to not be a bother. but after a while, he realised what they were going on about. they were fawning over him and saying how it was so cute that he – 'your boyfriend' – was being so patient with you and that he hadn't fussed once about how long you were taking. his heart fluttered upon hearing them. it wasn't for the praise though, but for the fact that they had called him your boyfriend – something he could only ever dream of being.

"why don't you try the blue dress on that mannequin?", he asked you. "i saw you ogling at it earlier."

"are you sure?", you said, as you popped your head out the curtain of the changing room, tilting your head up at ace. as he peered down at you, the blush that tainted his face reddened when he noticed the bit of bare skin that peeked through from behind the curtain. the soft, supple skin of your neck and chest just seemed to have a natural glow to it that shone so prettily as the light from the setting sun flooded over you. if he hadn't composed himself in time, he was sure he would have burst into flames – and in his case, that was not a metaphor.

ace cleared his throat and simply nodded, fearing that his voice would waver if he spoke. you pondered on it for a moment and without much deliberation, you requested he bring it over to you. like the docile man he was – for you alone – he handed it off to you.

"ace?", he heard you trill from the changing room.

"yeah? what is it?", he replied.

"do you mind if i ask your opinion on this dress?", you said bashfully. "i really do like it but i don't want to be hasty."

ace could feel his heart throbbing wildly beneath his chest. to think that his daydreams were seemingly turning to reality caused a deep red to tint his entire face. he mentally slapped himself for thinking of you donning the lovely dresses in front of him and thought how flippant that was of him. as he took in a breath, he told you that you could step out whenever you felt ready.

after a few moments, you pulled the curtain back and as soon as you did, ace's eyes widened. had he not been leaning against the wall, he would have dropped to the ground since he felt like his knees had turned to mush. you looked absolutely ethereal. the colour complimented your skin so well; the flowers that were decorated all over made you look so sweet; the shape of it hugged your curves so exquisitely – he hadn't ever laid eyes on a woman as beautiful as you before.

"you... you...", he stuttered. he had so much to say but the words were stuck in his throat. with the way you were gazing up at him so softly only made it that much harder. he had to place a hand on where his heart thumped madly to assuage himself, taking in deep breaths in order to gather the tenacity to say what he wanted.

"how is it?", you had questioned but ace had said at the same time as you – "you look beautiful."

your cheeks flared up from hearing his compliment. you were gazing up at him and he was avoiding eye contact with you, a dark pink twinging his entire face. his hand was covering his mouth and you could hear him muttering something under his breath though you couldn't catch on to what he said. his attitude at the moment was rather adorable to you and to hear him say that about you made your heart clamour.

for quite some time, you had felt that ace held an affection and adoration for you that differed for what he felt for others. he was always by your side, whether on deck or when you were exploring islands; he would always bring back your favourite confectionaries after his missions; he kept a close eye on you wherever you went and the moment danger broke, he was there to protect you. but you constantly brushed it off, telling yourself that you were simply deluding yourself and a man like him wouldn't be interested in you. it wasn't until marco practically bashed it into your head that ace did in fact have feelings for you did you accept that truth. you were now awaiting for the day that he would finally confess to you.

you had just finished changing into your previous attire when you saw ace at the counter, already paying for the pink dress you wanted. he excitedly came up to you, his sweet grin stretching from ear to ear.

"aw why did you pay?", you pouted.

"i wanted to," he said tenderly, looking at you with a soft expression.

as the two of you stepped out the store, you tugged at the bracelet that was wrapped on his wrist. he stopped in his tracks immediately, wondering if something had happened. your head was hung low, your fingers coyly toying with the beads of his bracelet. the action tugged at his heartstrings, eliciting a melodious tune that hummed within him.

you got on your tiptoes and planted a delicate kiss to his cheek. in a soft voice, you said to him, "thank you. that was really sweet of you."

ace was at a loss for words. he opened his mouth yet nothing but shallow exhales escaped his lips. before he could try to formulate any words to say to you, your fingers interlaced with his, your tender hand enclosed within his large, rough one. he felt like his entire body was going to short-circuit the second he felt your touch. he stared down at you dumbfounded – but delighted – at your actions. your eyes were fixated on your hands, an innocent smile sprawled on your face.

the way you looked, so dear and cute, had made him fall for you tenfold.

the both of you walked back to the ship in silence, the both of you blushing brightly, fingers still intertwined with one another. the entire time all ace could think of was what would be the perfect way in which to convey his feelings to you, as he now was certain he knew how you would respond.

with sheer ardor, he hoped.

[aprillikesthings]

So I think about Catra and Adora's first time a lot.

Like, okay: first of all, they've wanted each other for how long? How long have they both been lying to themselves and/or other people about how badly they desire each other? I'm sure it started when they were teenagers (ha, and I love how many canon-based fics mention this, that at some point the locker room/showers became a source of mutual, unspoken torture), but at least they were friends then, able to rough-house a bit, and Catra could sleep at Adora's feet.

But then The Sword happens and they spend multiple years apart--and still unable to resist chasing each other in fights. Because fighting is still better than not seeing each other at all, right? But then the portal happens, and they stop even seeing each other.

And those weeks after the Cat gets Saved, the start of them flirting and teasing that's not hidden in taunts and fighting ("did you just jump in fire for me?"), and now there's tons of casual touching ("yeah Adora, concentrate!") but Does it mean something else? Does it? Does it? DOES IT? The agony of not knowing, the risk of being wrong--we even see Catra have that meltdown about it!

The relief and joy of finding their love and desire reciprocated!!!

BUT

I know some people think it takes them weeks or even months to work up to having sex, and I get why. I know I'm in the "it was a few days, tops" camp. But I understand why people disagree.

Because holy shit, the combo of "I've wanted you for as long as I've been capable of wanting" and "our first kiss saved the universe," that just puts so much pressure on their first times being good!

First times are stressful enough!! Do they want this? Am I any good at it? Is this how they like it? Is this how I like it? How do I ask for them to do something different? Is my body what they were expecting or hoping for? What if I'm so nervous I can't enjoy it? What if I take too long to come?

So for Catra and Adora it's also "what if I've wanted this for this long, and then it's Bad/I do it wrong/she doesn't like it/we're not good together"

But also "what if our first kiss saved the universe....and then everything after that sucks"

Add Catra's fear around vulnerability and Adora's desperate desire to please while never thinking of herself and things can get tricky! We can be honest about that! They're both going to struggle with wanting things, with asking for them.

Which is why I think the two most likeliest scenarios are: One, "impulsively go for it the moment they get enough time alone," just to push through that fear all at once--but also because if things are in fact good right away, and then the next thing is good, and the next thing--I just can't see them stopping.

(It's also why there's just SO MANY fics where their first time is "kissing that gets desperate and leads to grinding on each other's thighs," because god forbid they not be in physical contact with as much of each other's bodies as possible)

Or two, working up to things paaaainfully slowly because they're so nervous, and at each step going "okay this is good, we can just keep doing this for a while"

Besides, let's be honest: it is fun to imagine them just making out for an hour lol

All that said! I do think they once they've had sex a few times and get comfortable, they'll get relaxed and playful about it. And then they're not going to be able to keep their hands off each other for a while, aaahaha

Anyway. Here's a long-ass but great meta post I didn't write about how She-Ra is an entire cartoon about queer desire that's still appropriate for kids.

[silverview]

i thought i'd do a self-indulgent little roundup post about my birthday, so i can look back on it someday and get emo about how lovely it was :')

concludes with my s/f report from the thursday evening show, all spoilers clearly marked!!

on the day itself i got some amazing gift fics from @donotbelasagne, @batatadulce9 & @kookaburrito (in order of posting), which was completely unexpected & wonderful 💕💕 if you like freaky rpf then you probably know where to find them! AND...

kooka also sent me this reece locket and this AMAZING lazoo doll which. i actually started yelling when i opened it & saw what it was. LOOK AT HIM. LOOK AT MY HORRID BABY

this is why i had to post the stitchup showdown opening, to at least provide context if not an explanation for my love for him 💗

my bf got me some amazing presents too, and we saw stage/fright – his 1st time, my 5th. details about the show further down, but first...!!

💕 REECE HUGGED ME!! 💕 and wished me happy birthday!!! 💕 he is the absolute sweetest and i just... yeah no words. i have rewatched the video of it a million times already. i was wearing heels so it was a biiit of a stretch for him to reach 🙈

i think this confirms he's not on ao3 lol because when i said "it's my birthday!" he didn't go pale and say "YOU! >:O"

on friday i had the best day with the lovely @spcvarney 💗 & we did a tour of the wyndham's!! she posted about this already, but the staff told us that reece has been claiming to feel ghosts touching his shoulder & stuff in the theatre 👻 of course he has

supposedly he had the same experience back in 2005 when he did as you like it there. no wonder he seems so happy there. they said that the alleged ghost has a history of reacting badly to swearing, and especially to the word cunt. 🫢

they let us go onstage, which was amazing. they asked us not to take photos of the stage/fright set & props. so of course i didn't. :) it really is an amazingly beautiful place

yesterday was my birthday party & it was rlly nice to see my family & friends, including some wonderful in9 fans, and i had the BEST time nerding out with them in person 💗 @wintersoulwitch managed to come by IN BETWEEN the evening & matinee s/f performances which was actual legend behaviour, & their varney tshirt was easily a highlight of the whole experience

at the party itself i found out that i didn't just pass my january exams (the ones that made me wish i was dead), i actually nailed them 😭😭

@mifhortunach came a long way for the party & i can't say how exciting that was 🥹❤️ we've been friends for the longest time & every time we hang out irl i have so much fun. they were the one who introduced me to in9 in the first place, so that was a nice full circle moment 😅

today i was so wrecked that i slept all morning & only woke up in time to see them off. it has been a very... VERY intense three days & this post can't possibly capture it all but yeah, these are just some highlights

i feel really lucky. i love my friends, including the ones not mentioned here & the ones who don't know that i think of them as friends. idk how i come across on here, or in person. i'm not someone who has never been deeply lonely & shy & insecure. being in this fandom is one of the strangest & loveliest things that's ever happened to me, because the people are amazing. sometimes i think about how it won't last forever, but that's okay, i'll enjoy it for as long as it lasts

my time gets stretched pretty thin. i'm never on here as much as i'd like to be, & i usually don't reply to people as fast as i'd like to. a lot of in9 fans are in the uk, so my nocturnal habits are pretty antisocial. thanks for being kind to me & patient with me :')

⚠️ stage/fright spoilers beyond this point!!! ⚠️

thursday eve was a GREAT performance!! the audio is mostly me + my bf cackling with joy. the audience were well up for it. really enthusiastic, laughing a lot. the whole play felt looser and more energetic than usual, everyone in the cast was clearly vibing

reece especially – marcus was sassier and more over-the-top than usual, and he corpsed a bunch during kidnappers, covering his mouth with his hand. on "i know how to answer the phone" he did a little jig for no reason and then burst out laughing at himself

speaking of kidnappers, the guest was julian clary (jewel ink lairy) and he was FANTASTIC, so so funny. he called s&r "heterosexual cunts" & i think the looks on their faces can best be described as delighted astonishment

i should point out that my straight, non-fandom, comedy writer bf feels that the "pudgy & homosexual" line IS most likely a reference to s&r themselves 💁🏻‍♀️

hugo's gloves were among the props left out onstage. plus the ghost light, gramophone, creepy jars, and trepanning chair from that segment. and the hare (we think it was The Hare)

the boys skipped some fairly important dialogue in their last scene: the reference to bcdr and the explanation as to why the song was cut. not sure what happened but i think reece just fastforwarded a bit by mistake. it still worked and it was still absolutely perfect. ❤️

i had happy tears in my eyes all through the song. reece was audibly belting it out and clearly having the time of his absolute life.

when miranda hennessy came out of the stage door, there was a huge cheer from a group of women across the alley who yelled "we know her!" she ran over to them & they all hugged & laughed & they said how proud they were :')))

[marvelouspenny]

heartstopper s2 gave us everything. a beautiful evolution of nick and charlie's relationship. isaac's asexual journey. taoelle and their awkward cinema date. taradarcy being there for each other. elle in art school. imogen and charlie standing up to ben. nick standing up to his dad and brother. tao and his mom. mr farouk and mr ajayi. bisexual sahar. isaac and his books. nick's coming out journey. the paris squad. nick and tao's friendship. olivia colman. taoelle in the louvre. isaac and james. tori spring being the most iconic person on earth. elle's friends. i'm bi, actually. charlie ♡ tao. taradarcy i love yous. nick and charlie talking about their feelings and generally being a healthy couple. just. literally everything about nick and charlie. the entire prom episode. possible imogen x sahar? i'm here for it. moments that came straight from the comic. that ending? i'm actually dead. flawless acting. incredible writing. and of course, kit connor speaking french.

[prolibytherium]

I never touched it but I feel like i only ever hear positive things said about song of achilles.. in (rough strokes at least) what makes it dogshit to you?

Okay it's been a while since I actually read it so some of this might not be spot on accurate. Sorry if at any point I say 'the book never does xyz' and it actually does once or twice but I think my underlying criticisms are accurate

-Patroclus is made into like this soft gentle tender quivering little yaoi boy. In the source text, he's shown as compassionate and moved by the suffering of his own men (and apparently having some medical skill, tending to the wounded in the camp), but very much invested n combat and very, very good at it (pages worth of descriptions of the guys he's killing left and right). In this, the arguably more complex character from this 8th century BC text is flattened into Being A Healer, he doesn't want to go to war he just wants to help people, he only goes because Achilles has to but he doesn't want to fight he's a HEALER he's a gentle lover NOT A FIGHTER who just wants to help he just wants to help everyone around him he HEALS while Achilles is a doomed warrior who is so good at fighting and KILLING its a DICHOTOMY GUYS!!!LIKE THE BEAUTIFUL SUN AND MOON DOOMED LOVERS SO SAD patocluse HEALER . (I Think he's specifically characterized as being BAD at fighting but might be misremembering)

-I don't remember much about Achilles' characterization I think it just makes him less of a jackass while not adding anything of interest and levels out into being mad boring.

-Not getting into the literal millenias old debate whether the mythological characters Achilles and Patroclus were being characterized as some type of lover by the original oral sources of the Iliad or its Homeric writers. We will never know. We don't even know what (if any) culturally accepted conventions of male homosexuality existed in bronze age Greece (we know much more about their descendants). But there are some interesting elements of their characterization in this direction, with how unconventional their relationship is WITHIN the text itself- Patroclus is described as cooking for Achilles and his guests (very specifically a woman/wife's job), Achilles chides Patroclus like a father, but there's also scene where Achilles' mourning of him directly echoes a passage of Hector's wife mourning her husband, Patroclus is explicitly stated to Achilles' elder, and is overall treated as his equal or near-equal, closest confidant and most beloved friend (to the point that pederastic classical Greeks would debate over who was erastes (older authority figure lover) and who was eromenos (adolescent 'beloved')- many took it as a given that this text depicted their present-day cultural norms of homosexual behavior but it existed so Outside of these norms that it had to be debated who was who). Their relationship is non-standard both within the text and to the descendants of the civilization that wrote them.

Basically what I'm saying is this book had opportunities to like, explore the unconventionality of the relationship (being presented here as explicitly lovers), explore the dynamics of why Patroclus wants to do 'women's work' (besides being a tenderhearted softboy), the weird dynamics where they take on paternal roles to each other but also roles of wives, how they feel about being this way, and just kind of Doesn't. Which I guess isn't an intrinsic fault (because it omits much of what I just talked about to begin with). it's just like.... Lame. This book takes jsut abandons everything interesting about the source text in favor of flattening it into bland Doomed Yaoi.

-The conflict that sets off the core story of the Iliad is Achilles and Agamemnon fighting over Briseis, an enslaved Trojan woman taken by Achilles as a war-trophy, Achilles spends most of the story moping because he was dishonored by his 'trophy' being taken. Achilles and Patroclus and everyone else are raping their captives, all the women in the story are either captured Trojans (or in the case of the free women within the walls of Troy, soon to be enslaved, and are slave owners themselves). Slavery as an institution and extreme patriarchal conventions are innate to the text and reflective of the context in which it was developed. You cannot avoid it.

But obviously you can't have your soft yaoi boys doing this, so the author has them capturing women to Protect Them from the other men. Their slaves are UNDER THEIR PROTECTION and VERY SAFE (and they might even Like And Befriend Them but I might be misremembering that. Briseis does though). Our heroes have apparently absorbed none of the ideals of the culture they exist in and the author seems to think "they're gay and aren't sexually attracted to their captives" would translate to them being outright benevolent (also as if wartime sexual violence is just about attraction and not part of a wider spectrum of violent acts to dehumanize and brutalize an accepted 'enemy')

In the source text, Briseis mourns Patroclus as being the kindest to her of her captors, who tried to get her a slightly better outcome by getting her married to Achilles (which probably would be the Least Bad of all possible outcomes for a woman in that situation, becoming a legal wife instead of a slave), and wonders what will happen to her now that he's gone. This is a really really sad, horrible, and compelling dynamic which could be fleshed out in very interesting ways but is instead is tossed entirely aside in favor of them being Besties. Like brother and sister.

All of the above pisses me off so much. If you don't want to engage in the icky parts of ancient/bronze age Greece then don't write a retelling of a story taking place in bronze age Greece. I'm not gonna get mad at children's adaptations of Greek myths or silly fun stories loosely based on them for omitting the rape and slavery but it is SO fundamental to the Iliad. If you're not willing to handle it, either fully omit it or better yet set your Iliad inspired yaoi in an invented swords-and-sandals setting where you can have all your heartbreaking tragic doomed lovers plot beats and not have to clumsily write around the women they're brutalizing.

-The author didn't seem to know what to do with Thetis and she made her just like, Achilles bitch mother who spends most of the story trying to separate our Yaoi Boys (iirc her disguising Achilles as a girl and hiding him on Scyros is made to be more about getting him away from Patroclus than trying to save her son from his prophesied doom in the Trojan War) until she sees how much they loooove each other and I think helps Patroclus' spirit get to the afterlife or something in the end?

-This is more of a personal taste gripe but it has that writing style I loathe where the prose feels less like a story and more like an attempt to string together Deep Beautiful Hard Hitting Poetic Lines that will look great as excerpts on booktok (might predate booktok but same vibe). It's all very Pretty and Haunting and Deep but feels devoid of real substance.

I really like The Iliad and The Odyssey in of themselves. They're fascinating historical texts that give a window into how 8th century BC Greeks told their stories, saw their world, interpreted their ancestors, etc. And genuinely I think these texts have 'good' characters, there's a lot of complexity and humanity to it.

WRT the Iliad- all of the main Achaeans are pretty fascinating, the one singular part where Briseis Gets To Talk and laments her situation is great, Achilles fantasizing that all of the Trojans AND the Achaeans die so he and Patroclus alone can have the glory of conquering Troy (wild), Achilles asking to embrace Patroclus' shade and reaching out for him but it's immaterial (and the shade being sucked back underground with a 'squeak' (the squeak kinda gets me it's disturbing and sad)), Hecuba talking about wanting to tear out Achilles' liver and eat it in a (taboo, exceptioally pointed) expression of rage and grief for his mutilation of her son's corpse, just one tiny line where the enslaved women performing ritual wailing for their dead captors are described as using it as an outlet to 'grieve for their own troubles' is heartrending, etc. A lot of grappling with anger and grief and the inevitability of death, a lot of groundwork laid for characters that could be very interesting when expanded upon in the framework of a conventional novel.

And Song Of Achilles really doesn't do much with all that. I know a lot of my gripes here are kind of just "It's different from the Iliad", I would have thought of it as mostly mediocre and forgettable rather than infuriating if it wasn't a retelling (and I DEFINITELY have strong biases here). But I think the ways in which it is different are less just a product of a retelling (of course there's going to be omissions and differences) and more a complete and utter disinterest in vast majority of its own subject matter, to the book's detriment. I think a retelling has a point when it EXPANDS on the source, or provides a NEW ANGLE to the source. This book doesn't Really do either, it just shaves off the complexity of its source material, renders the characters into a really boring archetype of a gay relationship, and gives very little else. Its content boils down to a middling tragic romance that has been inserted into the hollowed out defleshed skeleton of the Iliad.

Bottom line: I definitely would not be as mad about it if I wasn't familiar with the source material but I think it's fair to expect a retelling to Engage with/expand on its source, and I also think it's weak purely on its own merits. This book was set up to disappoint Me specifically.

[freakattack]

I'm not going to make any bracket predictions although i know who will win (as she deserves) but i am going to show my ballot for the first round because I can't shut up

[kalinara]

I've mentioned this before, I know, but this whole intro is why I couldn't get into Hellions.

I did try. I read the thing, but whatever good there was later was muddled for me by the fact that the premise required everyone to be incredibly out of character.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy how the Council ultimately destroys most of what it touches, but I can't get over the idea that they wouldn't have SOMETHING in place for mental health issues.

Or external possession issues, since Alex's thing is kind of a combination of both.

Cassandra Nova can be in some isolated part of the island, but we have to accept the idea of giving these characters to Sinister because there's nothing else in place?

I might have been okay with that if it was more than just Scott protesting here. But when you have characters like Kurt talking about this like it's a positive solution to a problem that no one bothered to consider... (Also the fact that Jean didn't vaporize Sinister when he says that "you're so much prettier when you smile" line is vastly OOC.)

You've got a point about Scott being nepotistic - I don't think that's a trait he tends to have normally, but given that Alex blew himself up in the Rosenberg run, I'm okay with a bit of overprotectiveness now. I'm just incredibly grateful that he does try to protest giving Alex (and anyone else) to Sinister.

Actually, to be honest, Hellions was one of the first Krakoa books I read, because I heard about the premise and needed to know, immediately, how that happened. Because the idea that HE might have willingly allowed Alex to be given to Sinister would possibly have been the deal-breaker that would have destroyed my love for the character. I might be a pro-level Cyclops apologist, but there are limits. But thankfully, aside from some easily glossed over situational hypocrisy, I think he's the only one in the intro scenes who is remotely in character. And I appreciate that he tries to put something in place to protect them, even if it ends up quickly subverted.

The most frustrating part of it is that it would have been incredibly easy to make it work. I mean, there's no getting past the fact that Xavier and company apparently never considered how to deal with the fact that many mutants are traumatized and mentally ill when creating their sanctuary to begin with. But if it was presented as "Actually, a team isn't a bad idea but we're absolutely not letting SINISTER run it!" and then Sinister, of course, goes around their back to take control anyway (basically the whole thing with Scott and Kwannon, just with all of them.) then I'd have a lot less trouble accepting the rest of the story.

--

Tangentially, I have a lot of issues with the Maddie set up here. I mean, everyone is absolutely right when they point out Sinister is on the Council, and thus punishing her for her deeds (many of which can be laid at his feet) is incredibly unfair.

But I resent that the way it's set up, there's no real meaningful way for any of the people who directly suffered at Maddie's hands to speak up against her. I think Scott probably did support Alex, as he said, but I certainly wouldn't blame him for being lukewarm at best about it. Sure, she started as the wronged party, but a few torture sessions, at least one sexual assault, and so on later... well, let's just say, I wouldn't blame Scott for abstaining.

(Actually to be fair, I've never been sure how much of that was her versus an AU version. But I can't really begrudge Scott for not knowing either. Actually, since he's not on the Council, he probably wouldn't have had a vote anyway...)

And of course later, Jean tells Madelyne that she was actually in support of her resurrection. And like Scott, I don't think she's lying, but I also think both characters are put in a position where they aren't really allowed, narratively, to have any other option.

I suppose I'd feel better about it if Madelyne ever really got to show some kind of...not even redemption per se, but some indication that trusting her isn't a mistake. We have Illyana giving her limbo - which she promptly uses to attack New York and try to force Jean into sharing memories that she's not entitled to (it'd be one thing if she ASKED. But also, no one asks Nathan if he WANTS the woman who tried to sacrifice him to demons to have Jean's memories of raising him.)

She does get some good moments during the Fall, but then there are all the games with Alex (and I'm a little boggled that Lorna was so quick to take him back after that. The Summers men must be utterly amazing in bed. Bred to be subs for a space god, I guess) and well, I guess I just want Maddie to be a character she isn't. I'm glad she's back from the dead, but I'm also glad she's not plaguing my favorites at the moment.

Havok and Cyclops dysfunction part 1

Hellions was a bit of a goldmine for Summers family drama. Alex had a bit of an episode and reverted to his AXIS inversion persona (not sure if that's the right word, but it seems to have triggered ongoing mental health issues, primarily violent disassociation.) He would have killed a bunch of humans if LOGAN didn't stop him.

Scott turns on big brother mode immediately, which is understandable, and the first time we see any hint of him standing against the Quiet Council. It's a little problematic - what makes Alex exempt from the same treatment as any other mutant? Scott implies he'd violently prevent the council from putting him in the pit if he killed people. He's right to object, as this is a complex issue, a health issue. That applies to everyone else in the dock too, though. For now, he's only willing to stand against injustice that affects those he loves nepotistically. Then fucking Sinister speaks up.

It's so very obvious that Sinister is arguing in bad faith. He already has too much power and any proposal giving him power over the vulnerable is indefensible. Everyone here should be aware of how much trauma this piece of shit has inflicted on Scott, Alex, and many more. Alex kinda thinks he deserves it, though he'll waver on that. Everyone on the council knows exactly what Sinister is, and I think not being more proactive with minimising the harm he could cause and making him redundant were massive failures. They need him for his genetic database and they'd prefer to not have him as an enemy, but he was given too much rope.

Sinister's proposal is The Hellions - the problem children of Krakoa sent on missions that reward their antisocial violence. After Greycrow executes Empath for messing with their heads, Havok argues he shouldn't be here. Kwannon disagrees and flags Alex's 'demons' - despite him coping okay with being at ground zero of Summers brother trauma. His 'demons' disagree too.

In a scenario practically designed to destabilise Alex, Maddie Pryor is there effectively utilising girl power. It's hard to tell how much of a factor magic is here but Alex slips into the role of Goblin Prince quickly. Maddie is pissed off - at Krakoa, at Scott, at Jean, at Sinister most of all. Angry at being used and discarded while her tormentor is rewarded, angry that they made a mutant nation for everyone except her. She plans to take Alex's head and throw it at their feet before overrunning Krakoa with an army of demons and cloned Marauders. Sadly, she gets shot, again.

Alex takes her words to heart and advocates for her resurrection. It's not the only reason, but the point is moot because the council votes no. Scott tried as well, though we only have his word to go off. I like to think he would, but he's not very supportive of Alex here. It's a far cry from his willingness to fight the council on his behalf. I guess a soldier will find violence easier than emotional labour. Honestly, it's difficult to tell where Scott is at here. He's incredibly family oriented in other books, but the good times are always easier than the bad times. This tracks with my experience of needing support from people and not getting it.

A good while later, Mastermind traps the Hellions in illusions of their deepest fantasies and desires. Alex's is ... interesting. Fantasy Maddie is nothing like RL Maddie, but she wants him and only him. That he's about to fuck a robot is grimly humorous and a little sad.

That illusion doesn't last, as it was only there to be yanked away and inverted. I'm skeptical that Alex would find this unpleasant, but it says something that fantasy Maddie is pliable and easygoing. 'Nightmare' Maddie has all the power and is an explicit callback to Inferno.

The illusion starts to break down which Alex interprets as Maddie punishing him by leaving. He practically shouts his insecurities and anxieties at Kwannon and Greycrow. They're not judging him, but he's not fooling anyone. Alex isn't scared of being alone and has no thoughts about being a budget Scott Summers. Totally.

Alex still thinks he doesn't belong in the Hellions, and he's right. Nobody does. However, he's ashamed to be associated with them in public. After all they've been through it's a dick move. Orphan Maker and Greycrow are definitely talking about themselves, but their comments fit Alex pretty well too.

This last one isn't really on theme - I just think it's hilarious. She did indeed eat his hands and him apologising for it is perfect.

I didn't really plan to explore Scott and Alex's relationship here, I just started off with Havok scans I found interesting. As I was thinking of a title, some theme that links these moments, it occurred to me that their relationship gets a lot of focus on Krakoa. It's spread out over half a dozen books or so, but that's for part two. They definitely have issues though - oh yes, and being around Sinister doesn't help.

[mokeonn]

Before I go to sleep I leave you all with this piece of advice: sometimes you don't actually have to answer big political questions, sometimes you can just say "I am not smart enough to know that, I just know the small things I do to help." Like you can often times completely avoid making a fool of yourself if you just say you don't know.

[starrycat123-blog]

tbh I'd get it if it was. This is kinda long so I'm putting it under a read more.

Sonic is shown here to have the metal disease, which infects people through contact, and he's sitting on top of her chair with his shoes dangling just a bit above her head. I'd be uncomfortable just with a person sitting there not infected. maybe I'd make an exception if we were close friends and I felt really secure in my chair's ability to hold them up but I don't think either of those things are happening here. like they're not close and ig sonic probably has really good balance and the chair probably won't break but he's really sitting at the very tippy top of it. I would for sure be worried he'd fall, and that's even without the disease.

And the disease is very much a thing and he might fall ON ME. Which, like. I'll literally die if this guy fell on me and he's right precariously above me??? What do you MEAN my personal space is being invaded by a person who will kill me if we accidentally touch in any way for even a fraction of a second and it's entirely possible that such a thing might happen. and I'm just supposed to put up with it?? Like yeah they're trying to fix things and so much of the world is already infected that they're all kinda screwed unless they succeed in curing the disease but I'd still be pretty unhappy about it.

And to make it even worse, this guy who is in my space and who might kill me is the literal savior of the world and he's kinda my boss or at least his friends are (I won't claim to remember what's up with the restoration's politics at this point in time). Like he's widely beloved and famous and going through a hard time right now bc the world's ending and everyone is suffering. This guy is terminally ill and recently watched a bunch of his friends get hurt and they're sorta dead and they might die for good and he might too. As uncomfortable and scary as it is to have him there, how on earth could I ever ask this guy to move? Worse than that, me talking to him might startle him and make him fall on me. Getting up to move would shift the weight balance of the chair, which could also result in him unintentionally killing me. And anyway I still have a job to do. Not doing my job might mean everyone dies and the world ends. But also I definitely can't focus on bc there's a person sitting above me very close to me who might kill me if the chair shifts at all on accident so really I should try not to move too much or do anything at all really. Just stay still until he goes away. stay still until he goes away. stay still until he goes away. stay still. stay still, stay still, stay still, please leave soon. please leave please please. Please leave please leave please leave please please please please leave please please

Like that'd be utterly terrifying. Super uncomfortable. How do you look the guy in the eye and just start being his friend after that? Even if he did apologize which he probably didn't and like the person above says he probably doesn't remember, I think that'd stick with a person for a while. Maybe he thought nothing of it, and probably anyone you talk to will also think little of it because nothing happened, everyone was so stressed and upset, and obviously everyone loves this guy or feels gratitude toward him so they're inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt, but you were afraid for your life. You were afraid for your life and the guy threatening you didn't care, didn't even notice. And you can't really even complain about it bc he's a celebrity. And the metal virus got cured with his help so he kinda saved your life too. That's so messy, idk if I could ever look him in the eye again, idk if I'd even want to see him on tv. Kinda sucks that Lanolin has to be around him still bc I know I wouldn't want to be.

Like idk I don't hate Sonic for this bc yeah this is horrible and stressful (and also it's fiction so. Lacks that personal impact).

and as far as he sees it (though I doubt he thought about it at all, I think he was just moving the way he normally does without thinking about it) the options are probably just:

1) it's fine and they don't touch and the world gets saved (which to his credit is exactly what happened)

2) they touch but the world gets saved and she's included in that so it doesn't really matter. -> also to build off this, it's probably ok that they're in restoration HQ bc even if he touches her he'll have time to restrain her or get her out or do whatever else is needed to keep everyone else safe and able to keep working on the problem

3) they don't touch but the world ends anyway and eventually someone else touches her and she dies

4) he touches her and she dies but also so does he and everyone else. and so she would've died anyway and it doesn't really matter if it happened a little sooner rather than later.

He also knows his physical ability better than she does, and probably figures he's fast enough to handle it even if she moves and his balance on the chair is thrown off.

Although if I was her I'd be worried in this particular case bc he's sick and might be thrown off his rhythm bc of that so even if I was friends with him and normally trusted him to sit up there I still don't think I'd be okay with him being there in this situation.

Idk it's fictional so. Anyway have a good day y'all

Imagine if this was why Lanolin really hates Sonic so much.

[jonathanbyersphd]

Some of y'all talk about Nancy like she's a middle-aged woman and not 17

[aletterinthenameofsanity]

lockwood/george/lucy is just ten/jack/martha in another skin. try to convince me otherwise